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Wednesday, April 28, 2021

Demons

 The demons are winning. I've lost all my coping mechanisms. I can't workout. I can't run. I can't even walk in the woods on a flat trail. I am disconnected. I am tormented. I want to be alone while feeling unbearably lonely. 

I tried meditation, and when the guide allows for a thought break, Amy Lee's voice screams "I want to die" and proceeds to sing the chorus of "Tourniquet." 

I cannot focus. I can't work effectively. I wish I'd died as a teenager, so that I would not have had to live with myself.

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